Now that I have survived my second day COVID testing, and passed, I feel I should say, which I am sure lots of people have discovered, that it is a small nightmare. I had booked my test with Randox, because one of the unlucky consequences of Owen Paterson being paid £100,000 a year is that it sticks in the mind that Randox are providing the tests instead of the easy and straightforward NHS test provided by Tower Hamlets, which has no currency under the Johnson government because it does not involve shovelling vast sums of money into the private bank accounts of government ministers and their friends (they say Johnsonism isn’t a philosophy: I agree, it’s just a way of a small number of people getting rich quick).

Anyway, the Randox test requires one to download an app, which I managed surprisingly straightforwardly. Then, you have to enter your test kit number. Of course, there are lots of numbers – the order number, the number on the box. None of them work. So, I couldn’t register. Eventually, I figured out which number it is supposed to be. It’s the number without the prefix RANDX, which you have to enter for your Public Health Passenger Locator Form to work. I have a feeling that these forms are cleverly designed to drive people mad, as well as make politicians rich. I’m sure Mr. Paterson is rubbing his hands with glee at the amount of all this COVID activity, thanks to the meetings he had which most unfortunately were, unusually, not minuted and of which the emails, which have now been released, have been almost totally redacted.

It’s funny how this government has an infinity capacity to lose all documentation of any significance, and then redacts those which accidentally survive. I suppose this is what they meant by Sovereignty. The ability to do exactly what they wanted without reference to any rules or laws, getting fat and complacent like stoats.